K, when bored students go bad is fixed, and the archives works better The poll breaks it, so i fink i'll get rid of it. Maybe. Played Soldier of Fortune 2 demo today. Its not bad. Just annoying that you go round all stealth like, creepin and crawlin, but have to stand up right next to the enemy in his face to change weps. Played more FFX. Got bit further, battled with some big son of sin spawn thing on a beach. OOh its still on. Left it on pause since like 8pm :/ Saved at around 8pm, 17hrs played. Left it on pause...22hrs played. Oops I'll just load it from the 17hrs game. Oh. The jog dial on my phone is broke. It only goes up down in out, but not backwards / fowards. Have to see if i can get it fixed or summin. But, it'll probably cost more to fix than to buy a new one on a contract. Maybe. We'll see. Not like theres any decent new phones around tho. Z5 is perfect for me. Oh, installed XP on Sunday, ran ad proggie and found 127 elements!

K, so between E3, my Hamster, FFX, RSI, tweaking Windows to get more speed and breaking dialup networking I've been a bit busy past few days. So first things first, another doctor looked at my hamster and said that with medicine she'd be better but it may come back in 3 months or so, but then more medicine and she'll be fine. So like phew on that side We've put her in isolation so she can't get too far away from her water with the medicine.

E3. Mario looks awesome now. Zelda continues too. Ninja Gaiden looks damn cool. Few other games coming out, mainly for GC that look great. I saw the 5fps movie of Doom III. TBH not impressed. But then it was at 5fps. Graphically, I read somewhere that it wasn't using textures in the normal way of things. I guess that seems so after looking at the screenies. It does look very different to any other engine out there. Thinking about it, it does look more pre-rendered type fdx than PC engine type. More like summin done in Maya. The leap from Q2 to Q3 was amazing. Guess I'll have to see a proper video to fully appreciate it.

FFX. Such a fun game. Wasn't sure whether I'd like it, but passed Gamestation, saw it was £36, traded in THPS3 (4 is out this yr) and got it for £25 Really glad I did too. Its soo much fun. Its alot like the Pokemon games. Go round with a team of fighters, fight things, get stronger, etc. Not as much hack n slash as Diablo. Got a good story to it. Awesome gfx.

I also got Super Smash Bros Melee. But due to some nasteh RIS I can't play it Its really fun. Load Mario's stage and its simply brilliant. Theres a Pokemon stadium too, with big screen tv in the back and it plays Pokemon music. Its damn fine.

XP stuff. I found this program that combines 2 connections together as 1. Not like dual bond with ISDN for 128k but teaming. It takes any 2 connections and makes them 128k. Probably was that the connections ran but they didn't go above 64k speeds. After a few reinstalls I got it to work ish. Some sites it works on, for example Mirror.ac.uk for downloading of Linux ISOs. 15hrs instead of 30 per cd

Um but RSI means no Q3

Not the best of days tbh. Ickle Ryo-oki, my hamster, got outa bed for some food. I looked at her bed and it was covered in blood . So I got her out and found all her back fur was covered in it too and dried up. After giving her a good wash it was evident that she was still bleeding a bit. So off to the vet. The vet, who Ryo didn't really like due to the way she picked her up, said it don't look good. The bleeding is a secondary infection usually caused by summin alot worse. For example, a tumor. She said, in all honesty it don't look good. She gave her a shot and said come back tomorrow. If its no better, then well ... erm theres only one way to end her suffering. I suddenly feel a lot older. Ryo's like my first pet as a young adult. She's my responsability. Previous pets, my last hamster when I was 11, Kelly our dog, Lucy our last dog, and omg I can't remember the name of our first one But with them, when Kelly had to be put down because of a twisted stomach, and when Sherbet, my first hamster who was like 4yrs old, went (tbh I don't remember what happend), it was my parents who delt with it. Now I get to say to the vet "Give her the injection", I get to say "Kill my hamster". Its such a bad thing. Its so selfish of me to want her to be around. To be able to give her chocolate drops, and watch her crack open monkey nuts. To watch her running around in her little wheel. Its alot easier to say don't give her the injection and to let her live just so i can enjoy her cute little face. But then, its wrong. I shouldn't let her live in pain just so I can see her, listen to her nibble on her food. I don't want to have kids. I don't want to have to have a kid with a pet, and then take that pet away from them. Its just evil. Its not fair. I know that life was meant to be this way, it isn't fair, it is tough, but it still hurts. Who knows, she could be all better tomorrow. But then even if she is, this day will come again.

So many things rushing thru my head. I have to be there when she dies. I have to watch the vet put the needle in and end her life. I have to hold her and comfort her when that happens. Then when she's gone, I'll still be holding her. Then what? Do they keep her? That doesn't seem right. If they don't I then get to be driven home with my dead hamster. Then what? Its like that episode of Buffy, "The Body". You just become numb. Then you have to deal with life. I then have to decide about this site. Should I change the top pic? I mean its not going to be fun seeing that every day. Maybe I should leave it as a sign of respect? Life sux. Would I get another hamster? Maybe one day. But not right now. It would seem like getting another one right away would be like they are just that easy to replace. Maybe they are, just nip to the store, get one, come home. Emotionally tho, its alot harder to replace one.

OMFG!! Bout all i can say so far. Zelda looks awesome. Metroid looks awesome. Mario finally looks amazing. 1080 looks damn fine too. Zelda, i know i just mentioned it, looks well fuck, looks like a disney cartoon. Currently got 36 E3 movies of ps2, xbox, and mainly gc movies downloading overnight. Doom3 tomorrow Just saw movie for Starfox Adventures. Damn looking good. Oh I broke XP Installed summin to double speed, it broke dialup networking. Typical. Wonder if Duke I'm Taking Forver will be shown tomorrow? UT2003 meant to be too. Hmm. Kinda might be playing games with Dave n Ian on Super Monkey Ball tomorrow. Wonder if they'll mind if I just sit on irc and get the latest e3 updates? I know, I'll say I gone out. Or i'm washing my hair. Huh. Just noticed my hub light flashes 3 times then stops. Then repeats. Had it for months, never noticed. Ah man. Resident Evil 0 movie in 12mins. Do i wait or goto bed? 11mins 31secs. Oh did u hear about MGS2: Substance? Xbox exclusive! What MGS2 shoulda been. You can play Snake in the 2nd bit Extra missions too. And VR training Yey 9mins. Meant to be out this yr. Haha ps2 owners 8mins. Fup it, i'm gunna see it. Oh Resident Evil Online! Damn. But how? 7mins. Come on!

So its been an intresting few days. Well only one thing major really. Someone I used to know is getting married. A girl called Laura Barnes from Thingwall Primary School. Thanks to Friends "that are succesful and would like to gloat" reunited, she left a message saying that she plans to wed some guy from her uni. When you think about it its like oh someones getting married. Then think about it more and its someone I used to know getting married. Then think about it even more and its someone I used to know who's my age, went to school, 6th form, and uni, who is getting married. She's the same age as me, similar place in life, but like she's going to get married. I thought about it too much few nites back and couldn't sleep. Its mind boggling. Theres her, going to get married, bout to start a career, looking for a place to live, basically living and then theres me. At home each day, playing games, chatting on irc, looking and hoping to get a job some day. Shes like building a life with someone. Living their life. Thats the thing. I look at my parents and see two people who made it in the world. Two people who left home, moved away from everything they knew and made a life. Now people my age that I used to know are doing that. Can I have a go? I loved those few weeks at QData, mainly cos I was actually living my life. As you can see from my blog entries, there was one each day. I was happy to just be living my life. I don't want to get a job to get money, I want to get my life going. I'm going to be one of those peeps at 35 who still sits on their PC rather than living. Working all hours cos I have nuffin else todo.

The money I spend on games n stuff, people spend to live with. I've spent my life with my head in the clouds. I've lived my life like Amélie. Living in my own fantasy world. Living in my world, not the real world. Is it time to change?? Well no. I don't want to be someone who worries about boring things like mortgages n checking accounts n stuff. I wanna stay me, but maybe take part in the world a bit more. Clearly I'm not ready to get married, thats like some scary shit, but I fink I'm ready to live. Maybe You just watch. Grrrr life sux.

In other news, saw Ep2 again. Good film still, bit slower 2nd time round yada yada yada. Played in JoltQ3DML nearly beat F1RE. Was a fun match. Got 50% rail Q3 is becoming a lot more fun now that I'm getting better at it. Ho hum.

Oh suppose I should say Congrats to Laura She found her "one". If anyone seems my "one" around stick stamp on her and send her here. Ta But still, marriage, at 23...fuck.

Star Wars: Ep2 is sooooo cool. I meant to write this up a few days ago, but it was 4:30am by the time i finished chattin to peeps on the net, it was sunny, birds chirpin and I had an interveiw in 10hrs so needed sleep. Oh the interview was super quick and i forgot to ask what I would actually be doing so heres hoping I get the job so I can do um summin. Anyway, Ep2. Waay better than Ep1. Possibly cos I didn't see or read anything about it so I wasn't expecting much, well i was secretly hoping for a kick ass movie, and thats wot i got. Not enuf vrrring vrring with the lightsabres as I had hoped for, but sill plenty of action. Ewan is definetly Obi-wan now. I'm not going to say anything to spoil it for yas, but its very good. Not as good as 4,5,6 but still great.

Ian said he felt it was as good as Empire! Yes he may be a bigger Star Wars fan than me, but I felt that it wasn't. Why? Lemme goto bullet point mode.

• No classic ships
• No big twist - ala Vader being at Cloud City
• No "Luke...I am your father" type ending
• No real classic scenes that you'd talk about in 20yrs. Apart from Yoda.

What I mean is that its good, but its not go much to make it classic. Like Xwings are classic. The sound of Tie fighters is classic. Snow speeders, all the classic ships / toys It has moments you'd chat about for a while, but nuffin really classic about it. No scene with Vader / Luke in the freezing chamber room. Not as dark as Han getting frozen or the whole feel of the film. Yes its a cliff hanger and does have moments that suprise u, but still. Its not classic. Maybe I'm getting older? hehe. Maybe. Obviously I am. Maybe its cos everything since LoTR is pap. Nuffin can touch the Rings, not even SW tbh. Ep1 or Fellowship? Hmm no contest. Ep2 or Two Towers, probably no contest. Ep3 or Return of the King? Gunna be close I fink. LoTR3 probably

Been playing alota Monkey Ball. Finally got passed level 15 on advanced. Been killing me that one has. I can do it every time now. Getting stuck on level 26 now I fink i can do it, its not overly complex. Unlocked Monkey golf today too. Oh and found the extra levels after basic. Very cool. Nearly took VF4 back cos on Monday my hand went to pot. I got some sorta VF4/ps2 controller rsi. Did I mentio this? Ah well. Played it last night, was fine. Actually I kicked arse Mayed it upto a 1st level kyu. Played it today, also fine. Made it to a 1st level Dan

Ep2 soundtrack is pretty good. Nice use of Empire type touches, bits from New Hope, bits from Ep1 too. Nicely done, but could be bit better. Hopefully Ep3 will be soooo cool.

Oh, very tempted to get Ep2 lightsabre. You know the ones with the sound that light up? £19.99 tho. But it lights up and goes vrrrriiing vrrring keeerrrsch.

So what have I been upto the past week? Tuesday...Rented Pitch Black. Not an amazing film, but I wasn't bored. Played some Super Monkey Ball after that. Me and the monkey have a love hate relationship going. I love to play it, but I hate the levels.

Wednesday. Rang EB to preorder Virtua Fighter 4. They said its in already. \o/ Ran down there, got a copy, came back, rang Dave, planned to play it later, then migrane attack Tried the medicine the doc gave me. Didn't work. So from 6pm to 1am the worst of the migrane occured. I was sick twice, which is a good thing cos it helps to relive the pain. Its like the lesser of two evils. Thursday was spent on the couch being dizzy. Friday was spent being not so dizzy, but still ill. I got to play a bit of Virtua Fighter 4 too. Typical eh. Came out early, but i was too ill to play it.

Oh Thursdays Buffy / Angel. OMG! I mean, the shooting. The evil eyes. The "I forgive u Wesley.....NOT!! YOUR DEAD! YOUR A DEADMAN!" by Angel. Seriously an OMG moment. I'm still finding Buffy to be a bit weak this season, while Angel is continually growing. I can imagine Joss Whedon ending Buffy soon, and focusing on Angel.

Saturday. Played more Virtua Fighter 4. Its such a well made game. The characters are soo well animated. Blocking is not just standing there and taking the hit, its like actually dodging the moves. Very cool. There's a lot for the single player too. Kumite, fighting against various ai's trying to win things and increase your status. I'm currently at 3rd Kyu level. Keep getting beat by those damn dirty Dans. Theres also the whole training of your own AI mode. You teach him/her combos n stuff and then put them into Kumite mode and watch the battles. I was really chuffed when ickle Chu won his first match. He's still a 10th kyu, but he's learning. My other AI, Claire, needs more training tbh. The cool thing is, the better I get, the better they get.

Sunday. Attempted Q3. Played TDM and got a headache n stuff. When it came to our match later on that evening in Jolt's Q3Deathmatch League, i had to take 2 Nurofen Melts in an effort to kill the headache. Annoying they didn't kick in till after the match. It was a great match. Very close. Thought we had GWF beat at one or more points. We'll get em next time

Monday. Worked on my new site / welcome mat thing. petemc.com. I feel artisticly its much better than the last one. While the last one had the whole cool factor going for it, and was quite stylish, I prefer this one. It has music, a cool pic, and a nice funky navigation. The blocks are also going to be used for some funky things later on Rented Kiss of the Dragon and Spy Game. Watched Kiss of the Dragon, while it had its moments it wasn't as good as Romeo Must Die. Played some VF4. I think i'm getting PS Controller Syndrome. Having my left hand in the exact holding position for playing VF4 with a Playstation controller really kills after about 2 matches. Its along the joints of the fingers. Its very annoying as I can't play VF4 for longer than 2 games! Hopefully its just cos I haven't played a beatem-up on a PS2 for a while.

Fink thats all. Probably missed a few things. No biggie.

I saw the trailer for Spiderman, and it seemed like your usual summer blockbuster. All muscle, no brain. Some parts looked completely cheesy. But then, seeing that it crushed Harry Potter at the box office and actually broke the $100 million mark in an opening weekend, does that make it good? Well its only numbers, but numbers like that make you wonder. So, off to Rotten Tomatoes for a quick looksy. Most of the reviews say the same thing, big action summer blockbuster but with a story and thought. Or that its a summer blockbuster, but an intelligent one. Here's a quote for the Dave's of the world "A whiz-bang, action-packed fantasy with a genuine love story at its core." -- Louis B. Hobson, JAM! MOVIES. UK release date is 14th June. Oh here's the IMDB link for ya's.

I r not dead. Typed out blog, hit a link, stoopid IE lost the entry. Basically, Gamecube rocks soo much that if you like games you have to have one. I wuv CTF. Played CA, out railed one of the best railers in lsr Dad came outa hospital early Mum's birthday today. Nappy nurfday Mum. Off to shops for bread.

Gamecube on Friday \0/

After checking with the Buster, they say "Oh, two games you want to rent. Sorry, you gotta buy em." A bit typical. Wave Race & Luigi's Mansion I have to buy now. According to a guy on Cube Europe Game / EB have a £300 package, 4 games, 2 controllers, mem card. Whack an extra £20 on there for the RGB cable which I wouldn't normally get but word is that you need it for 60hz support. Thats a little more than I hoped to spend, but thankfully I came into some money

Anyways. Full list of games are, Wave Race, Luigi's Mansion, Rouge Leader and Super Monkey Ball.

Oh my current desktop is here. Its pretty nice and clean to use.

Recent news. Um. Played Fifa 2002 World Cup Ed. Tisn't bad. Would take a bit of time to get used to tho. Oh. Went to EB to get Xbox mag & Gamecube promo pack. It was um interesting. I went in, said I was number 23. The woman on the phone said "I fink i just called you". I was like, oh well. Yer I still want one. Then my phone rings. Parents: "Um, that game company just rang" Kinda funny. This was followed by the girl serving me saying "Oh, there's summin I've been meaning to ask you since you pre-ordered you Cube". Sudden flash thoughts of everything bad I've done recently. "Did you goto Pensby Boys?"

"Um yes."

"I fink you were in my year"

"Um, ok"

"I used to know Mike Bennet & Kev Williams"

"Ok. Um"

Small world. Naturally I can never go back now I've been "recognised".

So today. Well Wednesday. My Dad went into hospital, Broadgreen in Liverpool. Its nothing overly serious. Just a op of sorts to check up on summin. While there, I went to MacDee's to get some food. While at Edge Lane, they had a Comet & Currys. I went to check on the presence of Gamecube, but non. Instead I found a crappy looking HP Pavillion. It had the screensaver on, so I turned it off and replaced it with something more appropriate 3D spinning text saying "I SUCK"

No cloud today, its too overcast when I remember to look

Oh its taking everything I have to resist buying Sonic Advance or Super Mario World. Too many consoles means that I end up neglecting one or two.