Wedding parteh!

Ok so I went to an old friends wedding party held in the completely over the top Knowsley Hall. When I say over the top I mean like too much fancy stuff. Too much gold, and expensive this n that and wot not. I felt outa place. Anyways I had some nice expensive Britvic to drink. The house was pretty amazing, but still I just felt weird in it. The drive there was nice. Borrowed the new Corsa :D I noticed that the bass was so loud I could see the vibrations in the wing mirrors. But hey :D The whole thing got me thinking tho. I mean yes she was older than me, but still. Heres me. I have a degree and I play quake. Oh i make websites too. Thats about it. If I died tomorrow have I lived?

My day so far...

Ok, so my parents just left for a wedding. I get in the house and my sister goes "OH, Chris is calling round, can we give him a lift on our way to the party". I say no, cos i hate the guy. She goes "But why"....."Cos i hate the guy" that goes on for 10mins. Is it too hard to understand that I simply hate the guy, and I don't want to give him a lift. OK so its on the way, but still why should I have to sit in a car with someone I don't like. So then I say "You had this planned and Mum didn't know anything about it" to which she says "Mum knew". I go, "So if i ring her, she know about it?" "Yes she will", knowing full well that if I ring her she'll just turn around miss the wedding all because of my sister. So I'm left alone with them in the house. We don't go till 6:45pm, where I have to take one very annoyed sister to Liverpool to a wedding party. She's just going to make a show of my parents at this place. Gah. She asked me why i didn't like him, and I said "Cos he's a scally", "Oh just cos he wears a tracksuit and has a scouse accent"......"Well duh" I mean accents come from hanging round people with that style of accent. Scottish accent from scottish people, southern accent from southern people. So to have a scally accent, well you have to hang round with scallies. I doubt any intelligent non scally type person would hang round with them. So ergo, he's a scally. But then i can't talk intelligentlly to my sister, cos she'll just get angry, clearly a sign that I'm actually right. She has to revert to name calling, "OH you don't even have a job!!!" oooh spicy.

Gah, i wasn't looking forward to this party to start with. But I'm going because it'll please my Mum. My sister is that dumb she calls me selfish. I know my Mum wants her there, even if she is a little harpy. But I'm guessing what'll happen is that she get all annoyed and agressive closer to the time, and then we were meant to go, she'll just leave with her bf and not go.

She's been doing things like this since she was well born. Goes off, has her fun, comes back and doesn't care if she's caught. She's had her fun. My parents can't seem to, and haven't found a way of stopping her. She simply doesn't care. But I do. If she annoys me, she will know about it. My parents have to play nicely cos they don't want her to move out and destroy her life, they've always tried to give her the best. My feelings changed during Xmass. She's not my sister, she just a person. A while ago I didn't like the way I felt. But I'm glad that I can hate her now. Its easier for me to get things done. I am rubbish at showing my true feelings, whether happy or sad ones. But I've learned to just simply be cold. Be brutal. Detach my emotions from the situation, get the job done. She can say what she wants, it wont' get her anywhere with me. I have a lock on my door, so she can't break my stuff.

And now "Out going calls are barred". Thankyou BT.

Her boyfriend turned up wearing black jeans, a shirt, and a jumper. Oh and a stereotypical scally baseball cap. I bet that my sister was trying to get him to come with us. "Oh just give him a lift to Liverpool". Yer right, no way was he going to get out. So i get to drive to the place for 30/45 mins or so with her. Then sit in the hall with no-one to talk to for 5hrs. Fuck this will be fun. :( Can't say anything to my parents cos I want them to have a good time. Not like I can do much really. I bet my sister will rant n moan later on, and not go. Well fine. If she says "Either you give Chris a lift or I don't go". Fine she don't go. I'd rather not take some pissed off selfish cow anyway.

Got these on time :)

1. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own? Hmm. Dunno really, but I do like my blue trainers, blue pants, blue t-shirt and blue jacket :)

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire? I'd quite like a nice 3/4 length leather jacket.

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why? Um. None really. I only throw clothes away when they really don't fit, like 6yrs later.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in? Probably my suit.

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident? Dave ;) But maybe the time when I gelled my hair straight back during 6th form.

Weee more weird dreamage

It started off with me having to build some new building for the local hospital. It was meant to be a small relaxation center or a gym. So for some reason me and my Mum were walking round some building, discussing what to build, when in front of me was a guy from my old school. We got talking and he handed me some cd's i think. Then we all went to some office where they had examples of small buildings that were perfect for what I wanted. After a while of looking the guy who owned the office came back and threw us out claiming we were spies or summin. Anyway I went back to work, but I seemed to be creating some super human beast thing, and not a gym. It looked kinda like the Predator without his helmet on. But all black. I think my Mum told me not to activate it or summin. I felt a bit worried too.

Then I woke up. Went back to sleep and had another dream.

I was on a school trip to somewhere. We took a steam train to get there. When we arrived it took me a while to find my suitcase, which was actually just a lunch box with a large cookie and a change of pants in it. I went round the hotel we were in, and found there were boys n girls rooms. Odd since my old school was male only. I went into one room, and all the beds were full. Everyone was sleeping. I had asked the teacher how long we were staying, and he said just today. So it was the afternoon and we had only one day there so everyone went to bed. I went round the bed rooms, and found a girl in one with the boys. I asked if they were mixed rooms, and she said no. I found a window bed, in that it was a bed in the window sill. I went back out onto the landing, where apparently I had brought my whole hamster cage....and the hamster. Which I thought was very odd. Then I went outside and looked around. I went back on the train to find my suitcase. Found it and then tried to find my way back to the hotel.

Um so....

All new Monday Mission

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.34

1. What do you do to make things better when you feel sad and/or lonely? Um. Usually just ride it out. Maybe watch a film with some ice-cream. 2. Are you a "touchy-feely" person? That is, do you like to touch people you don't know that well? And on the flipside of that, do you like being touched by someone you aren't close with? Nah. I don't like freaky weirdos that I don't know to get in on with me. I also don't do the same to people. 3. Do you like to have "me" time, time to yourself to be alone and relax? Or do you prefer to just do your own thing with someone else in the room? When was the last "me" time you got and what did you do? Well :) Having no job means I have plenty of time for myself. But recently I've taken to sitting downstairs, watching the box in the evening with some ice-cream and a beer. 4. Generally speaking, how do you feel about the concept of marriage? Are you the marrying type? Do you think the act of getting married means something today or is it simply just "a piece of paper?" When I find the right one, I'll probably get married. I feel that its more than a bit of paper. Its a declaration to the world, this is the woman I want to spend my life with. Now everyone say aw :P 5. That said, as many as 25 states have passed legislation regulating who they believe should be the "marrying type." What are your thoughts on the banning of same-sex marriages? Um...er....freaky? 6. If there was one law you had the ability to create or change, what would it be? Copyright? ;) Or if I made one...it'd be illegal for women to wear clothes and not bounce down the street :D 7. What would you like someone visiting your Blog for the first time to know about you? Now is your chance! I'm not wearing any pants. BONUS: Can you hear them? Yes, I hear web people.

And yes I know its Tuesday.

Thankyou PC World

PC World had a nice Bank Holiday deal this Bank Holiday. Every Xbox, PS2 and Gamecube game was £25 or less. Jet Set Radio Future and Pikmin were mine! Until i got there and found a crap selection. No JSRF. Hmm, maybe Wipeout Fusion. OOooh theres a copy of Pikmin!! YOINK! Next....hmmm.....Rallisport Challenge? Nah. I wonder whats behind these boxes...SSX Tricky. Hmmm, everyone says its good. I played the demo of the 1st and didn't really like it. Bleh, what the hey. If i don't like it i can trade it in at Game for £20...£5 loss ain't bad.

So the D-man called round and we grabbed some air in Tricky. It took a bit of time to get used to, as you'd expect really. I mean Tony was never easy to get into. After a few tricks n stuff I started doing nice big jumps and racking up the points. Single player is just as fun too.

Pikmin. Is a seriously good game. Lush gfx, really nice relaxing music. And the Pikmin are the coolest. Its really cool to see the work as a team. The puzzles are inventive too. Oh, and its always a shame to see them die :( I lost quite a few of them before I figured out they can't swim.

Star Trek Dream...yes I am a geek

It started off with me watching Star Trek X. Which wasn't a great film, but was a good ST film. Fun n all. Then I was at an open-air lecture. Kinda like a drive in movie, but a drive in lecture. We stayed in our cars. For some reason I had some newbie guy in mine. Dunno who he was. Then something happened. Maybe I had to chase someone. So I drove out the lecture, and down the road after the guy. Then round a corner, and round another, and found the lecture place again. We tried to be inconspicuious, as much as u can be with a car driving thru a lecture. When I parked this girl came over to see me, but she grabbed some broken glass and I pushed her against the wall. Whether she then pushed the glass into her or just fell on it, i dunno. But she turned round and the glass was in her chest. The newbie guy I was with freaked out. And thats about it....

Hi, I'm Pete....I have fked up dreams.

Tired

Tune in (cos u do do tunage) tomorrow for the weekend report. Been up since 8am, its 2am, in 6hrs it'll be 24hrs since i was up which is a bad thing. Oh, no weird dream last nite. Unless i forgot it instantly.

So i go to decompress my thoughts....

Some games for ya

Skateboarding - Very cool

Monkey Diving

Helicopter game

Battleships

Think Carmageddon

And a wallpaper for u

Again weird dreams...

Fridays: I was at a place like Alton Towers with Dave. For some reason we went on the rollercoaster, which Dave doesn't like. Have way thru it we realised it'd be safer if we dumped our kitchen knifes. Thats probably due to me playing too much Hitman 2 :D So I threw mine away into some resturant kinda place. I dunno what happened to Dave's. After the ride we went to look for our knifes with some help from an old friend. A wee bit narbled if u ask me :)

Saturdays: I was going round my old school, but it wasn't my old school. The teachers were the same, but the buildings weren't. I was with my parents and I was sayin "Hmm I could stay on and do Computing A Level" but they said no to. Then me and Dave were walking around the place, and he was going on about everything that was cool about the place. I kept saying how things were basically the same when I was there. Then for some reason Angel (from Angel) turned up. We were friends with him for some reason. I think some demon turned up cos he went off to kill it. He took its head off, but the polic found it and took his prints from it. They put these posters up looking for him, with pictures of his finger prints on. Then I woke up.

1st dream = wtf? 2nd = I suppose u could say it was simply about me missing uni? For the most part. Angel killing demons...?

Mumble

I hate dreams that remind you of your mistakes, your regrets. Dreams that show you how happy you could be if you had only taken the risk. The past few nites, as you may have read I've had odd dreams. Jedi's, dinosaurs, rollercosters where I carried a knife (too much hitman2 probably). But then for no reason at all, something just appears in teh dream. Then you wake up, and your like... :( Life is hard enuf sometimes, trying to forget what was, without your dreams bringing things back up. I'll write up last nites dream in a few hours. I'm gunna try this sleeping thing again. See wot happens.

Too much to watch

I have 4 episodes of Farscape from 3.4 to watch, I'm currently watching episode 4.06 that I downloaded, and in 55mins I'll have episode 4.07, and I already have 4.08 downloaded. Oh and last nites Xfiles, and Wednesdays Bond film too.

So I got the Hitman 2 demo. Its damn fun. Although I'm a bit crap at the whole sneaking thing. I can get into the complex unseen, with no killing. But then someone sees me, and thats it. By that point I feel I have to eliminate everyone there :D I generally end up with Psycopath or Pscoiopath (sp) rating :) I really am looking forward to the finished game. Skulking around, taking peeps out a mile away. Killing innocents :D I drowned the maid :) Well, i drugged her and dropped her into the swimming pool. She gurglled a bit. Oddly after a while she got up screamed and ran off. /me whips out desert eagle :D

Still got Warcraft 3 to finish, and Battlefield 1942 to try online.

Ya know its Friday

1. What is your current occupation? Is this what you chose to be doing at this point in your life? Why or why not? Well I'm currently a freelance web designer, but it tough to get jobs. So I want to be an actual web designer working for some large company.

2. If time/talent/money were no object, what would your dream occupation be? Probably just making websites.

3. What did/do your parents do for a living? Has this had any influence on your career choices? Um no :) I've always needed to find my own path, and my parents supported that.

4. Have you ever had to choose between having a career and having a family? LOL No :)

5. In your opinion, what is the easiest job in the world? What is the hardest? Why? Easiest...would be being skilled enuf to do the top level job you can do, but taking the bottom level job. Hardest...its all relative. You could say president of the USA, but he's had experience n stuff so he can do the job. It'll be tough, but he can do it. So any job that I'm not experienced in would be the hardest job.

Discovered

Well this lot can't be good. Risk of cancer, mild depression. I suppose thats wot I get for sitting around all day on irc :D

The following information represents your individual health risks. Again, the result from this assessment does not guarantee that you will or will not develop any particular disease, only that you do or do not have the risk factors for those conditions.

Here is your risk profile analysis:

Heart disease: 3 risk factor(s)
Cancer: 4 risk factor(s)
Cardiovascular disease: 0 risk factor(s)
Lung disease: 0 risk factor(s)
Accidents: 0 risk factor(s)
Pneumonia and influenza: 1 risk factor(s)
Diabetes: 1 risk factor(s)
Suicide: 1 risk factor(s)

----

Your responses indicate you have Mild to moderate depression. Below is an explanation of how this risk assessment is scored.

• Depressed mood
• Pessimism regarding the future
• Feelings of failure
• Anhedonia (inability to take pleasure in things)
• Feelings of guilt
• Feelings of persecution or punishment
• Worthlessness
• Self-dislike
• Crying spells
• Irritability
• Sleeplessness
• Decreased appetite
• Weight loss
• Decreased energy
• Decreased concentration
• Indecisiveness
• Feeling worse at night
• Decreased libido
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Decreased social activity
• Preoccupation with personal health

  -----

  Anxiety Index Your score = 43

  Results of the Egoism/Altruism Test
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  Egoism/Altruism Index Your score = 47

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  What does your score mean?
  

  
  You seem to have struck a balance between egoism and empathy. It is good that you don't neglect your own needs, while acknowledging the needs and wishes of the people in your daily life. Your altruistic streak is good for your soul, and contributes to society-don't be afraid to develop it more!
  

  
  Random acts of kindness can help you feel "connected" to humanity. Good deeds are both the cause and result of being a relaxed, happy person---in tune with the surrounding world. But don't forget that YOU deserve as much kindness and respect as the next person.
  

  
  Your altruistic nature is refreshing ... keep it up!

  What does your score mean?
  

  
  According to your Anxiety Test results, you are slightly more anxious than necessary. In some situations, you function very well and are able to use coping strategies, but in others anxiety may get the better of you. Although these occasional feelings of anxiousness may not be interfering with your life to any serious degree, you can nonetheless benefit from building your repertoire of stress-fighting strategies. There are many informative resources available in libraries, bookstores and on the internet that can point you in the right direction.
  

  
  
  
  
  

  Advice & Tips
  

  
  Whether anxiety rarely rears its ugly head in your life or is a frequent, unwelcome visitor, you can benefit from the following suggestions for overcoming or relieving stress, anxiety and worry. Choose the strategies you think will work for you, and give them a shot! Remember, there is no one "cure" for anxiety, but the more coping skills you have, the better you will be able to eliminate its impact on your life.
  

  
  Note
  
  
  Of course, these cannot replace the help of a qualified therapist - if you feel you are unable to deal with your anxiety on your own, take that important step and give one a call.
  

  
  
  With Yourself
  

  
  
  • Get to the real root of your feelings. If you feel extremely anxious about work, for example, chances are thin that your stress will simply disappear on its own. You may have to dig deep to find what is bothering you - could it be a fear of failure, unhappiness in your current position, or too much pressure? Once you find the cause of the problem, you can take constructive steps to alleviate it.
    
  • Practice positive self-talk. Anxiety is often a vicious circle and eliminating (or at least cutting down) the negative thoughts that start the chain is sometimes enough to get you out of the trap.
    
  • Keep things in perspective. Think back to other times that you felt this anxious - did they always warrant such a strong reaction? This is not to beat yourself up about the past, but to realize that you have and can again survive situations that you thought were too much too handle.
    
  • Reminder: Worrying does not change anything. Only constructive action can bring about results. And there are some things we just can't control. Remember the old mantra, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"? Whether you believe in an almighty maker or not, this little prayer carries a powerful message and a worthy goal.
    
  • Be in tune with yourself. Know when you are beginning to feel anxious and have strategies to avoid a full-blown attack.
    
  • Evaluate your self-confidence. Anxiety can often stem from feelings of inadequacy. To find out if you could improve in this area, take the Self-Esteem Test.
  • Forgive yourself. Anxious does not equal weak. Everyone gets stressed, and it's not your fault if you can't handle it sometimes. It is, however, your responsibility to take steps to change. Believe that things CAN get better. Because they can!
    
  • Take small steps. If, for example, you are anxious at the mere thought of speaking in front of a group and you have to do a presentation, try practicing first in front of the mirror, then with one friend/family member, and work your way up to a larger group of friends. During the entire process, visualize yourself doing it in front of a larger group. Build your way up.
    
  • Talk to a professional. Don't be afraid to seek help from a medical doctor or a therapist.
  • Educate yourself. Take advantage of all the great resources out there!
    

  
  
  With Others
  

  
  
  • Get it out. Talk to friends, family or someone you know is a good listener. If you aren't close enough to anyone, consider joining a support group or even a hobby club to meet like-minded people.
    
  • Give someone the squeeze. Physical affection and touch are great stress-relievers. If you don't have a partner, friend or family member that you feel comfortable touching, even a pet can do the trick.
    
  • Learn to put your foot down. Sometimes you just have to say no, for your own sake. It may surprise people at first, but being pulled in a million directions is a major contributor to stress.
    
  • Ask for help. That may mean asking your kids to help in the house, or a friend to support you in stressful situations.
    

  
  
  Day-to-Day Habits
  

  
  
  • Keep a journal. Use it to vent your feelings, but don't leave it at that - write the positive side of every experience (even if the only thing you can find is "developing inner strength"), and brainstorm ways you can work towards eliminating some of the stresses you feel.
    
  • Shake that body! Exercise is a great stress reliever, whether it's smashing a tennis ball, bowling or doing stretching exercises at home. The body and mind are strongly connected, and neglecting either will have negative consequences. You may want to take up yoga or meditation.
    
  • Eat your veggies. Take a look at your diet - are you getting all the essential minerals and vitamins? Make sure you keep your blood sugar level stable and cut down on nasty habits (smoking, over-eating); you may think that they are comforting you and helping you deal with stress, but it's actually the opposite.
    
  • Let go and laugh. When you feel stress building, seek out the things that make you laugh - a funny movie, a joke, a favorite website, a goofy friend.
    
  • Pamper yourself - you're worth it. Make a list of things that relax you and make you feel good - a bubble bath, a movie, a magazine, playing a game, going for a walk, a certain CD, comfy clothes, watching a certain sport. Keep the list handy for the next time you feel the stress building. Don't use these activities to avoid difficult situations, but they may calm you enough to be able to handle them better.
    
  • Connect with nature. Whether it's taking a stroll in the park and looking at the trees or going on a weekend hike in the mountains, getting out in the great outdoors can be calming and strengthening at the same time.
    
  • Avoid anxiety triggers. If there are unhealthy people or places in your life, consider decreasing their role. If however, you are anxious about situations that are not damaging and are in fact useful/necessary (ie. talking to your boss about a new idea, or traveling in a car), you should form a solid plan to deal with these feelings.
    
  • Create comfort zones/times. To avoid stress from building up, have scheduled times for you to unwind (before bed is a good time, so your mind is at rest and you can get a good night's sleep). The comforting activity should be something you enjoy; something you know will make you feel good. The comfort zone is a place where you can escape and unwind - it could be a corner of your living room or a spot in the park.
    

  ------

  Posted by cyKey at 11:11 AM

Missed a few

OK troopers. Sunday...played q3. Monday...played PGR. Getting further and loving this game. Got £25 reward voucher for Game. Plan to use it on Resi or maybe Turok. If Turok has some good multiplayer stuff I might get that. And I hope the single player is as fun as Turok 2, but easier on the saves. I watched series finale of Andromeda. Pretty good. Lots of action n wot not. Better ending than Enterprise. I watched 6ft under, and it puzzled me. The gay guy was desperate for sex. So he rings this other gay guy and they go have gay sex in some car park and get caught. So I'm thinking, clearly that was better than just going back to ur room with some porn.

Anyway. Tuesday. Got SFX magazine, and basically had a nice evening. I sound soooo like i'm 40, but I just sat in the backroom, TV on, bottle of Cranberry Bacardi, and some luverly toffe ice cream. So i just read the magazine for most of the evening. I never do that, but it was nice to do it. Maybe I'm getting older and enjoying the simpler things in life. Who knows. The magazine did raise a good point tho. Farscape boxset 3.4 was out. I didn't have 3.3.

Wednesday. Bought 3.3 and 3.4 boxsets. :D Ok, yes i can't afford these. But I haven't bought anything for months, and the student loans company said they're giving me £75 back. Plus I haven't seen most of these episodes, and theres an ep on 3.4 that is just the cat's meow. I won't spoil it for anyone. But its probably the funniest episode of sci-fi I've ever seen. And thats the best thing about Farscape. It really is far out sci-fi. I guess its hard for some people to watch because it really is well...alien. Its just brilliant the way they keep re-inventing themselves every episode, creating new and wacky things. But in the end, its the characters that draw u in. Even the baddies are simply cool. Crais and Scorpy are just excellent.

Anyways. Oh, BW games kinda sucked. I gotta learn to not go after everything in an nme costume. I always have high nets, so I gotta learn to wait, attack with team. I'm gunna try that and see how it goes. It probably work quite nicely, cos at the mo I'm sucking badly.

Oh one last thing. WTF is wrong with this site??? EH?? 2 peeps ticked "Sucked" on the Rate my blog thing. WHY DOES IT FKIN SUCK? Still stuck at around 7 on is my blog hot or not too. Why? I've seen far worse sites getting far higher scores. Whats good about them?

Um there was a dino

[10:58am] CYK3Y: it was like a survival horror movie
[10:58am] CYK3Y: where these kids where trapped in a theme park with a dinosuar
[10:58am] CYK3Y: and one by one, they got eaten
[10:59am] CYK3Y: inside the park was a baseball stadium that was made with computer gfx
[10:59am] CYK3Y: and this kid was in the stadium
[10:59am] CYK3Y: and all of a sudden this large hand came over the top and grabbed him
[10:59am] CYK3Y: it was the dinosaur
[11:00am] CYK3Y: the kid said some cheesy one liner, and then got eaten
[11:00am] CYK3Y: didn't scream of nuffin
[11:00am] CYK3Y: probably cos it was a cheesy movie
[11:00am] CYK3Y: then..
[11:00am] CYK3Y: the dinosaur said an even cheesier one liner!
[11:01am] CYK3Y: then the kids found a way out
[11:01am] CYK3Y: but they didn't want the dinosaur to follow them
[11:01am] CYK3Y: then things went really weird
[11:01am] CYK3Y: next thing i knew we were taking the dinosaur, who was the size of a dog, to the vet
[11:01am] CYK3Y: along with my cat
[11:03am] CYK3Y: while at the vet, we only seemed to get the cat checked out
[11:03am] CYK3Y: and then the vet was in my back garden, with it raining, saying to let the cat have free roam of the house cos she had hair in her mouth
[11:03am] CYK3Y: which was bad

Go figure...and no I don't smoke weed.

I R JEDI

Ok, so for some reason I was a Jedi. But...wearing a MIB suit and Tim Grocott was one too. Martyn Smith was there also... I chatted to him for a bit, then moved on. There were some girls there too, and it appeared to be a high street. But not forgetting I'm a Jedi. Then we ran off down some street, which was taken straight outa the game. And thats it....

Today's MP3s

New link on the side, click nav0r to see em. But basically this thing shows you what songs i listened to today. Roughly :)

Life goes on

1 week 2 days after Ryo died, a new life has found a home. I have a new hamster. :D

Pictures are;

Here,
here,
here,
and here.

She's very much like Ryo-oki, looks similar n all. She's very mad tho. Already scratched the hell outa her new home. Now the major problem. Naming. I'm tempted by Rei but everyone's gunna say "But Ray is a guys name". But its not Ray, its Rei which is Japanese.

Its 1:45am and I'll be ur host for the next 10secs

So. Since last week i've been doing some thinking. Do I want another hamster? Part of me says yes. Part of me says no. Part of me wants Ryo back. I keep having to stop myself from going into the back room to simply see her. Every time I go down stairs, I keep reminding myself not to go into the back room. I've been thinking that I want a new hamster, to fill that void that now exists. I can't imagine not having one now. Well, I can I suppose and I don't like it. But then I think, is it a new one I want, or do I just miss Ryo-oki that much? Then I think that I do want a new hamster. After a few minutes of thinking that I just feel that even with a new one, it won't be Ryo :( I really don't know.

Anyway. Last week my parents got a new car, which I'm allowed to drive :D A black Corsa SXi. Basically the exact car I want to get when I get a job. Its such a powerful thing too. Looks damn sweet.

I've got a bunch of pictures I plan to put in my photolog sometime. Bit busy working on a job application that requires a demo site.

Oh I watched Cyote Ugly on Sat. Tis an ok film, nuffin special. Well, apart from the hot gurls in it. Story wise, tis the same old boy meets girl thing. But what I felt afterwards was pissed off. I'm pissed off that after a yr of leaving uni I'm still jobless and moneyless. I'm tired of watching everyone else live their lives while I sit at home. Its like being ill and watching all the kids play football outside. I keep thinking, it'll be Xmas soon, then only a few months after that till 2yrs since uni. FFS!! 1yr. 1 whole yr I've just sat here trying to get a job. Employ me damn it!!

I'm also tired of hearing about people with less knowledge than me getting jobs and making money off something that I can do.

Life sucks.

I'm tired

Good nite.

Whupdates

Changed the design a bit. Uses more space, so things fit better. Made the side nav neater, and added the cool effect. Put what I'm listening to, latest pic and latest desktop at the top. I figured having them at the bottom was bad, cos no-one will ever scroll down the page to see whats changed. What the visitor sees when they first hit the site is important, so thats why I changed it. Oh, and the title is now there :) Been meaning todo that for a while.

Its that time of the week again

1. Do you have a car? A 1989 mint condition Ford Fiesta

2. Do you drive very often? When I can. I love to get out on the road, some kick tunes playin. I just feel free.

3. What's your dream car? Aston Martin Vantage...

4. Have you ever received a ticket? Nah :D

5. Have you ever been in an accident? I was reversing out of a spot in Tescos, it was clear, and this idiot came outa nowhere and bang. Nuffin major, happened yrs ago.

Ryo-oki Jan 2001-Aug 2002

Well, 30mins after my previous post, my hamster, Ryo-oki, died. 2:27am was when I looked over to her and noticed she wasn't breathing. I really couldn't believe it. I thought that it was just late and I couldn't see her breathing. I tried to give her food, and picked her up, but I just knew she was gone. My Dad nicely burried her in the garden, between two banana plants. When the time is right, some bluebells will blossom where she lies.

Goodbye Ryo-oki.

Ryo-oki

My pet hamster, Ryo-oki is dying. She has hardly moved in days, she doesn't eat or drink. The vet gave her a shot of steroids, but it doesn't seem to be working. She just lies there, breathing. If you pick her up, she doesn't even open her eyes. I don't think she has the strength to anymore. She can bearly walk. So I guess we just wait. Its hard looking at pics of her when she was health. Remembering how she used to run around, chewing on chocolate.

Its got me thinking tho. Do I want another hamster? I keep thinking about the same things over and over. Is Ryo that disposable? "Oh she died, lets nip to the store and get a new one." I'd feel like i'd be betraying her memory. Acting like she never existed by replacing her. I was also thinking how hard it is to be human. Hamsters only live 18months - 3yrs. Do I want to be going thru all this again in a few months? I honestly don't know.

I don't want to sleep. I want to stay with her, just watching her. I don't want to wake up tomorrow or Thursday, or Friday and find she died while I was sleeping.

New desktop

I really quite like this resolution, 1280x960, but at 70hz, you notice it with white backgrounds. So I may drop back down a notch. Oh the window in the right corner was meant to have Lord of the Rings playing, but I guess cos its a DirectDraw window, it didn't show up.

New Gallery

I've put up a gallery thing for peeps to gallerise

Its around here somewhere

Purplesets

Just finished a game of q3 and noticed this ace sunset. Click to make big.

Xylaphone Buggery!

Swearing Buffy

Quite fun :)

I'm
I'm exceptionally artistic! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Whapppaaaaaa

click here to find out which asian action superstar you are!

You are Jet Li.
you are a star crossed lover. your tastes for woman are sometimes beyond ur
reach. you like to break all

the rules and yet honesty is one of ur main priorities. you sometimes hurt yourself.
even kick the living

*bleep* out of yourself. but dont worry it's only yourself from an alternate-parallel
universe.

Recent Top 16

1. Linkin Park - Step Up (127)
2. linkin park - it's going down (101)
3. Metallica - No Leaf Cover.mp3 (83)
4. Linkin Park - Pts.Of.Athrty-Jay Gordon (80)
5. F.S.O.L. - Papua New Guinea (Hybrid Remix) (76)
6. Danny Elfman - 04.Revenge (Spiderman) (73)
7. Danny Elfman - 18.Farewell (Spiderman OST) (72)
8. Danny Elfman - 11.Revelation (Spiderman) (70)
9. Danny Elfman - 09.Parade Attack (Spiderman) (70)
10. The Cyrstal Method - name of the game (hybrid remix).mp3 (67)
11. Kylie Minogue - Love At First Sight (67)
12. Danny Elfman - 03.Costume Montage (Spiderman) (65)
13. Danny Elfman - 07. City Montage (Spiderman score) (64)
14. A - Nothing (59)
15. Face2Face - I Wont Lie Down (57)
16. Linkin Park - Paper Cut (56)

My Name

I found this site with info on peoples names. Now my description is quite close to who I am, but if you look at the other names in their database its quite dubious.

Your first name of Peter creates individuality, independence, self- confidence, initiative, and an inclination to physical activity. You are not inclined to merge your opinions and viewpoints with others, to accept compromise, or to work in a subservient position against your will. Your expression is invariably quite direct and candid, and lacks the moderating tone of tact, diplomacy, and friendliness. Others find it difficult to accept your domineering and, at times, argumentative manner. Your circle of friends is restricted to those of like nature. Once friendship is established, you are very loyal and steadfast and do not tolerate gossip or criticism. In your close associations and family life, there is little demonstration of sentiment, appreciation, sympathy, or encouragement. It is difficult for you to find the right words for such circumstances. Weaknesses in the health caused by this name centre in the head.

And

The name of Peter-michael gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature. Because your feelings run deep, you must guard against the ups and downs, being very inspired one minute, then moody, reserved, and depressed the next. Your reactions to people vary according to how you feel. You tend to be secretive and noncommittal about private matters, yet at times you will talk effusively in order to hide your self-consciousness or to lead others away from personal subjects. You are inspired by encouragement from others, yet suspicious of their intent. You crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature. Physical weaknesses would show in your heart, lungs, or bronchial organs.

But...

Pikachu
Fuck
Cunt

Oh dear Google's going to have a field day with that. "....fuck....pikachu....cunt...." ;)

Drone
Asshole
Penis
Boobie

Like who would call their kid Boobie Cunt?

Only this?

You are 19% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutia. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

I r God

Which Recurring Kevin Smith Character Are You? Take the test here

Um this

My Senshi Colors Are: Brown: Practical, Intelligent, Stable Purple: Gentle, Easy to Please, Relaxed Get Your Senshi Colors At SailorOrion.com

Todays correct Friday Five

1. What is your lineage? Where are your ancestors from? Um, dunno. I can see this weeks is gunna be quick :)

2. Of those countries, which would you most like to visit? Erm.

3. Which would you least like to visit? Why? Double erms

4. Do you do anything during the year to celebrate or recognize your heritage? Ok

5. Who were the first ancestors to move to your present country (parents, grandparents, etc)? And take a guess :)

Last Weeks Five

1. How long have you had a weblog? Since about Janurary 2001, although due to Grey Matter some of the entries where lost.

2. What was your first post about? Hmm. Not really sure but it do remember some early stuff about mid january snowage.

3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one? Originally it was just petemc, then I moved it to theman.petemc.com and it became theman. Now its still at theman.petemc.com (duh!) but it has a new name. When I update the title tag :)

4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else? I used to use Grey Matter, which was very good apart from the nasty delete the index problems. Then I read up on Moveable Type, liked it, installed it. Voila.

5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place? I don't know of anyone with both :)

South Park Me

South Park me :)

http://southpark.gamesweb.com/flash/sp-studio.html

Um ok

I decided to submit my site to the all new Blog.hotornot.com system. Theres me thinking, well it should do better than my pic. But hmm. I've got 2 1's, a 2, a 3, 2 4's, 4 5's and 2 10's. So um my rating is like 5.8. But from the scores its more of a below average. Well that just plain sucks. I mean wtf is average? I've seen far worse sites with far higher ratings. Come on!! Whats not to like. Works in modern browsers, looks nice, great colour scheme, fun to read, lots todo.

So then. I ask anyone who just randomly finds this site, or regular peeps or wot not. WTF is wrong???? Hmm a thought. Maybe its cos monkehs who have no taste are viewing the site. "Oh theres on anim gifs or loud frikin bells". Stupid peons with no idea of what looks good maybe?

Rate meh!.